i went out with justin for sasha's birthday and we went to celia's sister's boyfriends birthday party and when we walk in ian is there. i grab him and he says what the fuck are you doing at my best friend's birthday party. i said i don't know. he get's really weird when he's drunk. saturday i brought boy alex and justin to the party at renzo and natan's. a total bust really boring. and then i got sick. last night i felt confused and sad. when i woke up i thought i was in my bushwick apartment and it was raining. just like the last time i had covid. which i can only interpret as my body knowing what's going on. i woke up to find that i had put my earrings where my necklaces go. i fell asleep at 10:15. it so crazy when things start going wrong but you don't feel anything yet. you just get confused and stupid.