we took the train and shared a sandwich. before arrival i gave some warnings about things that might happen to me and i don't want you to be afraid or mad at me. we ate sushi and went to sleep. everyone was very polite and everyone was behaving their sunday best but i feel sorry because cigarettes are banned. after the first bookstore we drive in the car to pick up turner and we go to the petting zoo where wes takes a business call with roosters in the background. they have bubblegum ice cream and it is pink and i don't like it and i don't want it. we swim for fifteen minutes i am the last one in and the last one out. last time i was here/there i brought the cat and the fish with me because i was thinking of never coming back. i am happy now so i will live here forever. last night in my dream we sat in the tub which is what we did in massachusetts. everyone can tell stories. my parents can watch me hold hands. you have to lay on the floor so i can pull your boots off. i am going to write a will. i tried to ask the cooks if they had them but it wasn't good timing. yesterday is the first day of summer and i liked it. i woke up at my house and we walked to buy bleach and the building supply was closed so i did not buy wood. i made us breakfast which he says was an improvement. half a sweet potato four hard boiled eggs bowl of kimchi pickled green tomato one medjool date and two chunks of tashkent bread and two cups of coffee with honey and cream in the backyard. justin came over and sat on my bed while i put eyeliner on. i whistle out my window to say wesley it is time. we walk to the park play and are a bad audience. we leave to buy beer. we run through the fountain. we get pina colada and say bye to justin and run through the fountain and then go back to see zac but tom says he's not there so we go through the fountain again and find forty dollars on the ground that is for him and not me. at the park i carry the grill and wait under the tree until he comes back. the coals won't light because the basement is damp. i look for dry sticks but thirteen brings brown paper bag which lights on fire good. there is fish. i am proud of all my nails except for right thumb. i am not proud because i have to use it for beer so it breaks. i have noticed this blog is eroding. pictures getting worse and disappearing. i am so angry today at myself because i am not working hard.