sunday i walked around with both of them. strange man stops my mom and my dad on the street and says to my mom so you're white and says to my dad and you're indian and says to them both while looking at me: and you made a hispanic? i was very tired so i did not buy any of the books i should have bought. ice cream sundae and went to the studio and made one red painting and it was windy. after talking on the phone i bike towards the city and a boy and a girl are circling each other spinning on the bikes and i ride through and she says jump in jump in and i don't and i am angry at myself for not jumping in. and the rest of the way over the bridge they are just a few feet in front of me and the one they pick up has a balding fur coat but i think theres no way. and on the corner everyone gathers on accident. ella says she recognized my stride. we climb up up up and on the roof i see the boy and the girl from the circle and i say it was me, me who didn't get in your circle. the poem is horrible and the music is loud which is the only good thing about it. i went to the met and i went to work. i got mad and in the morning i bled but i was still mad but the kind i can keep in my pocket for later because there are more important things in the front row. built furniture in the backyard with my mom. we go to the city and meet wes in the park and i tell her i dyed my hair red before he did. ice cream in another park and i run into jade and he is reading moby dick and my mom brings it up later that she likes that he is reading moby dick and that she likes him he is interesting. i attend dinner number 1 but only have 3 bites. mom and wes talk about calarts and cars. i shed them all and go to dinner number 2 with shane and inga. i drop my knife and one of my chopsticks and we eat salad, terrine, leeks with egg stuff, crab omelet, beef tongue, lamb sausage with potatoes, pork chop and french fries, green almond ice cream sundae, peanut butter chocolate pie, panna cotta with meringue that tastes like fire in the backyard. martini with oyster in it red wine. it hurts to walk to the bar. there was a purse that i never got and never forgave myself for and i say what it is and inga says thats my purse. take the U train home and the cats meet. i take my hurt out of my pocket. i don't sleep because i left my wood outside and i have to go get it. i have to say goodbye to my parents. my mom says she is glad she got to talk to him, he is very smart, he did everything right, she liked his t shirt but was too shy to say. i'm going to food one more time.