This is nam day 1 and controlled burn day 8. imessage goodbyes all. going to turn sam's room into a yoga studio and emma's room into a hotel. get drunk with justin and he tells me all the same stories he told me the night before the next day because he doesn't remember telling me the first time. i am treating me like a computer in rock bottom recovery program. here are the rules: only one monster allowed per week, run, must have at least one day off per week, must eat more than one meal per day and first one must occur before 5:15pm, must hang out, must write, must copycat, must make 4-6 new friends, must finish all my homework, must make the best birthday present of all time again. i feel really different with no monster. my mom is going to come see me because she is without roommate and husband for one month too. and so is my babysitter during nam controlled burn isolation period. i found a tiny jar and i keep one pen inside on my desk. i have been probably hired to clean a fancy woman's apartment. i got home and drink the daft punk wine in the shower but i didn't wash my hair. what a horrible dream and i wake up and i'm mad at both of you in real life for thirty minutes because of what you did in my dream. my hair smells like red bull. maybe i will learn how to wait for the light.