Synchronicity on sidewalk when My red le creuset teapot and my white zojirushi rice cooker broke so this morning I found an orange le creuset teapot and a silver zojirushi rice cooker on the street outside my apartment and I thought maybe i wasn’t awake. my finger was so cold at the doctor the thing they put on your finger didn’t see me and the nurse said i don’t think this girl’s with us and I said try this hand (the other hand). because the hand she tried first was the one that touched the subway so I removed it from my body in a sense so that I would not touch it move it feel like it was mine and it got cold because it was gone. and my other hand my warm hand told her I was there and alive. Antibiotic pact. like a blood pact but for antibiotics. i ate chicken pot pie from the box because i feel weird like should have just gotten home from gymnastics practice. since sam banned me from listening to lana del rey im less destructive. i’m going through my notebook too quickly it’s not cost effective to write this much. no blog and no contact that’s why. nico is here i think. funny bar tonight everyone sitting back straight knees crossed hands on their knees very polite very polite. lighten up lighten up i can’t drink so need everyone else to have fun around me. earth and cafe g tomorrow childhood reunion and priya needs to be alone style errand and justin party saturday. saw mickal at funny bar he says he’s coming to justin’s party probably heavy on the probably. emma’s birthday party sunday. everyone on the back end of emma’s birthday party has a few people that have to be screened. will it be okay if i invite them will it be okay with you if they are there. walking home scary man following us saying ill bash your head in we are silent because we are so scared or maybe just i was. walking fast but not fast enough that it would make us look scared because then we would get our head bashed in. book for book club is all weird sex and freaking me out. im so sick and i wont get better only worse. i'm already a virgo with obsessive compulsive disorder don't add insult to injury by calling me a c word and i dont mean cunt.  i might need to find brain damage in order to be nice girl who can sit in a pocket and go along for the ride. i'm trying to be different  though better nicer prettier easier less difficult to be around i'm sorry i was not fast enough to be better nicer prettier easier less difficult to be around i really am.