Earlier i was sitting on the bench had the scariest thought without trying which was that when you are 36 you have already been who you were going to be. i turned twenty five and got scared to go outside so i havent really been outside. just because i dont see people doesn’t mean i dont know people i am saying again mostly in my head. i have been eating extremely healthy and pure. ever since the bsa (banana split addict) ran out. i thought i couldn’t read for a while. but i just have to hold my phone a little further away from my eyes and then i can read. i’m at the park at the playground so im thinking things like i think i might want to have a child so i am allowed to buy toys again. I have to wake up early tomorrow to get breakfast with my babysitter in midtown i'm Not kidding.