Everyone get into the van the mini van full of monster energy and 200 roses. the movie man drives us over the bridge and spits us out at carmelo's but it's too cold inside so we walk home. inside the minivan during the day it's pouring rain and i'm sitting in the way back on top of a bag of skiis because there's no seats in the van and it's my birthday. and i decide that i love today because i'm in the back of the van and it's pouring rain and its so pretty. i'm scared we poisoned the cat (my cat) with the beautiful lilies that look like frosting. just because i'm beautiful and weepy does it mean i am an idiot? or that i am not strong or grown up? i don't know what that means. my new pencils. my new wallet. i made a purple soup because i have weird ideas about the healing properties of purple foods. taro, black lentils, purple cabbage, corn, seaweed two types, miso and beef broth, fennel seeds and sichuan peppercorns. over brown rice. a sad letter i got ill send some back out made of metal.