Okay. sitting on the stoop facing sideways not forward. looking at nothing instead of everything. young woman old man walking past i think to myself he must be her father but she's dressed like a slut. and she keeps looking at him and smiling. and then he grabs her and starts making out with her. right in front of my house in the direction of nothing instead of everything. couple across the street sitting on their stoop watching me sit on my stoop. the man has handed her a bag from Bath and Body Works and she is unscrewing every lid and seeing how each one smells. it is liquid soaps not lotions (red green and pink). This week i'm trying to detox and become good. this week i'm trying to double my prozac and get acupuncture. I am trying to go to the beach alone and in the morning. I don't think i'll get raped or kidnapped. crossing my fingers. every morning when i run i usually get a conclusion out of it. and this morning it was i should really buy that purse. so this morning after my run when i came to my conclusion i bought that purse while standing in the kitchen making buttermilk. i made fridge soup which is when i put everything that is going bad in the pot and cross my fingers. crossing my fingers twice in this post. in the pot was eggplant, zucchini, carrot, two tomatoes, sweet potato puree, one half sweet potato, cashew cream, chicken stock, fava leaves, kaffir lime leaves. Tomorrow i will probably cry.