l wrote in the middle of the night before i realized i had a fever: Discipline is stronger than drug withdrawal. drug withdrawal can be more than pills i’m doing it classic style and new age style. both i can’t have anymore even though im asking. a woman online taught me about that. but mind is stronger than body is stronger than stomach. but body can run faster if mind shuts the fuck up. actually i’ve just changed my mind: body goes hardest when you’re thinking of the most horrible scenarios you can invent. sometimes the pictures are so horrible i get lost and don’t know what street i’m on. realized i’m not sick there’s just sheetrock in my lungs i think. sitting at the park remembering the kids on leashes in october the first time around. but right now im working on food water shelter. i’m in the red as they say!