happy birthday justin i love you so much! i have spent more hours of my life in your presence than anyone except maybe my parents i’m pretty sure. i’m so sorry that emma had to bench me from the table and put me in the bathroom at your birthday dinner while you were opening the presents i gave you. i didn’t see your reaction to them so maybe you can tell me tomorrow if you like the smell of the eau de toilette. when we came back from the bathroom i was worried everyone would think i was not pretty anymore because my eyeliner was all gone. it got washed away and i tasted it in my mouth. i really like your new boyfriend he wears the same style clothes as you. i’ve been thinking about the first time we hung out as friends…it took so long because we were both shy but i’m so lucky i have you forever now. i feel sad i don’t see you every day no matter what anymore. we were so unhappy there but at least we were together. i liked that catarina said that at work she is like a horse. i think it’s a good way to think about getting by. just waking up and standing in your stall and eating the hay that you’re supposed to eat and standing very still and not acting up or bothering the other animals in the barn and then going to sleep. i can be a barn animal eating from my trough and all i need to worry about is today looking the same as yesterday and tomorrow looking the same as today.