hm. can't remember anything. everything is too exhausting or sad to remember. justin was like how did you not remember that it was so horrible and it didn't even happen to me it happened to you. so he had to bring it up because i didn't remember. i'm trying to quit. applying to jobs because they say i should have a sense of responsibility to the gallery that makes me want to sacrifice my time and life for it. they say i should let it slip away and that at lehmann maupin their gallery girls get into the gallery at 4am during basel so they can be available in basel. the house is so cold i've taped up all the cracks and i'm still shivering. my journal hasn't heard from me in weeks. i don't have anything to say to her!!! my dinner was so cute sitting on the floor. i think i've got my 3 new bffs sorted. i want to lay so still but not have it be about resting. i want to be so still in a way that feels like hiding not resting. i am having fun though too. let's get drunk every day....