Merry christmas blog! mom and dad are in town and it's all about realizing the roles are reversing. they are reliant on me more than i am reliant on them and they are old and they can't survive here but i can't protect them from the world because i'm a kid and i don't want to. You just have to walk across the bridge crying to become okay with it. i don't want to get married but i have to because if i don't i won't have any help when they die. they are so selfish for only having one baby. they come into my house and break everything and my dad says i'm so sorry so sorry so sorry let's go and buy you a new one tomorrow but i don't want a new one because everything is a lesson in attachment and we can't buy a new one because i made it. you should be prepared for everyone and everything to get knocked off the table and break and you can't buy a new one because everyone and everything will get knocked off the table and break and you won't have them anymore. because all you have is you. maybe this is not true for other people maybe it's all i have is me. tried to walk back to ridgewood from union square but only made it to the morgan L. ice cream cone on the way home. i'll get drunk by myself tonight. merry christmas :)