oh blog...woops! got completely sloshed at the work karaoke christmas party and told kate all my secrets. justin and i lana del rey duet. they want me to sell my shirts in the store...just have to think of a name...for the shirts. kate says just say the word and he's gone because boys like him are a dime a dozen but i am one in a million. she says i should be in love with adam and his lauren is a crazy b word. she bought me a pack of cigarettes and let me hit her vape 100 times (tastes just like bread). she convinced me to go her route home but then she took us on the wrong way f train so we are in dumbo so we uber to williambsburg but she accidentally ubers us to the gallery and then we uber to her house and then she ubers me to devon's house. she thinks thomas is in love with me but i'm pretty sure he's in love with his girlfriend who he lives with and shares a dog with. i don't think he is in love with me but i do think he thinks i'm a good person. because we have talked about real stuff together. val says i know someone who is interested in you i'm not telling but you'll figure it out you will know believe me. i said it can't be dan palmer because he's gay. she says he's not gay and it is dan palmer he has a giant crush on you. chief curator scad museum of art has a giant crush on me if only he wasn't 5 foot 4 and 38 i would marry him and i they would have to be nice to me at work because i would be mrs. chief curator of scad museum of art. slept soundly had sex walked home got coffee feared the milk was spoilt put on a perfect outfit had 2 toasts with browned butter + blueberry cranberry preserves + cheddar cheese + julia's arugula (sorry) + 2 fried eggs and only 5 minutes late to work. melissa is pregnant which is warping my worldview. found new favorite ebay account bought book book book and book. i've been brainstorming my new year's resolutions so far i've got: no more doing 2 things at once, no more grinding my teeth, 9 minute mile, no more speaking in riddles as emotional evasion tactic, get 3 more brand new friends (maybe sam maybe isabel maybe the girl at the studio), get the splits (failed this year so have to try again next year), learn to cook meat and throw up