at the prada store on 70th and madison they are only taking me seriously because i'm wearing my fur. i don't know how much it costs because it's not my credit card so it doesn't matter. my sales associate who gave me her personal cell number says my dad must be indian because she can see it in my features but my white mom is shining through. i thought i might throw up today for the first time in fifteen years didn't though. dumplings and giving up on the opening after work. sitting in the park feeling so sick both of us. he says he asked his brother and isaac and harrison if they knew my ex-boyfriend which if i was him i would not admit so i thought it ruled hard that he told me that. at home i made four cake layers and earl grey lemon curd and browned butter frosting and orange cardamom earl grey simple syrup. i feel sad because i messed up at work in a way that i think is actually bad because i hurt people that i care about on accident but it doesn't matter that it was an accident because i still did it. i am excited to meet justin's sister this weekend so excited. julia wants to "hang out" maybe we will go shopping. wathcing martha stewart episode how to make a barbie birthday cake (wasn't she sticking out her pretty head? a doll... ensconsed.... in a cake). Yesterday sola was wearing a long agnes b. skirt and val said to her: "you can only wear a long skirt if you are very thin. it’s actually better to wear a short skirt if you are a little overweight. you also can’t wear a long skirt if you have big boobs.” i'm interested in the artist's way are you going to shoot me between the eyes for being so predictable? i forgot to feed string bean tonight because i confused yesterday with today.