i'm sorry i can't come to your birthday party liv i'm experiencing some sort of existential despair triggered by valentine getting angry about boxes. i only ever almost cry at work when they make me do things i know they aren't really allowed to make me do. and i had 2 cups of coffee which makes me angry i should only get 1. left alone at the front desk and read and felt terrible. kyle said godspeed priya which i thought was funny. godspeed for what? went to the store and felt like i was in giant eagle. but i was never in giant eagle alone. saw a tweet that made me wanna blow my brains out but i laughed too. making 5 pans worth of chocolate cake right now.  eva's bergdorf unveiling last night and then vietnamese food with justin and julia. this morning ran to the limit there's no further that i can go there's no more road. i am nervous to see alia. she is the closest thing i have ever had to something like a sister. when i was a tiny baby she was a giant teenager but now we are the same thing. remember when me and alia and my mom went to chicago and toured saic for her and then that's where she went? i remember her calculus textbook in aggie ice cream and her dead sister and her teenage bedroom she was the coolest girl in the world. and now she's at thanksgiving dinner because she's my mom's daughter now. mile high apple pie i wish i could ask you for the recipe we had used.