Things look so different on the mainland. today was so hard and i remember this day last year and it being so hard. i remember last year matthew's wink when i said our world just got turned upside down. i was happy to hear the barking though. my feet are bleeding and torn up from walking walking walking but i won't stop. tomorrow i just have to be a computer. not a body not a brain just a machine that doesn't stop and doesnt have bleeding toes. Rae klein at nicodim really really good. tomorrow i have to wake up at 6:30 go for a run take a shower and eat one hard boiled egg and one piece of toast with almond butter and then put my day outfit on and put my night outfit and night shoes in a bag and go to work early. and then the day part and then the night part. ugh! i don't want to have a birthday party anymore im too tired