everyone went to the party tonight and it feels really sad even though i know i can't go. before he left alex asked me if i ever miss cameron and i said yes this week actually. because last time i had covid was the last time i saw him before everything started happening. i'm on my period in a real way which hasn't happened in like years i think. it's crazy how it makes you think differently. maybe i always think differently but i can never pinpoint it because i don't know i'm supposed to be bleeding. i'm trying out having the rug in my room i cut the fugly fringe off. got cream soda to make an espresso tonic but seems like i'll have to wait until monday morning to try it. i started this new book and its so hard to follow because there's no punctuation and each sentence is at least one page long. i went to the park today and yesterday and the day before.